death's call

each time i fall into darkness’ arms

he teaches me to return to love

some falls hurt more than others

but each time allows me to know love more intimately

nourishing all that i am

mind, body, and soul

and allowing the light i recognize within my own being

to emanate to others

i’m learning to pay careful attention to my being

to feed it intentionally

not just with food and water

but with devotion

to set goals and meet them

the little things each day

i’m learning that devotion means

consistency and discipline

that guidelines are not restriction

that they keep me on the path to freedom

i’m learning that consciousness

is the most alive in space and in silence

she speaks in the pauses

i could have the most boring conversation

but feel immense presence.

not in their words

but in their being.

see their soul

in its most vulnerable state

and let them see mine.

so we may be mirrors for each other

to know god more clearly.

it feels so good to feel you

and i feel you and know your purity

through shedding the layers

removing the fog

eliminating distraction

transmuting the pain into love

this path is so important

thank you shadow

for guiding me to a brighter light

i forgive myself for being frightened by the darkness

i was scared because i didn’t know when he would leave.

i begged him to go

but i clung to him

because i had forgotten what it was like

without his company

let the pain rise

so i can look him straight in the eyes

and tell him i love him

even though he hurts me

because i know these wounds he reveals

are not ones he caused

but he lifts the bandages

to show me what needs healing

removing the dressing is painful

seeing the blood and the bone

is uncomfortable

but i must accept it

by not covering it agin

in order to allow it to heal by being seen

so thank you darkness

for showing me what needs attention

what needs healing

so i can see myself

more able

more whole

as i grow

i’ll learn to recognize

darkness’ agenda

and not attach to affliction

but realize death's call to love

each time i welcome death

i welcome a new birth

...

monday july 22 11:13pm

...

ram ram ૐ

much love, dream extreme.

☆

- kat