winning the game

one becomes a true master

by realizing that there is nothing to win

there is nothing to be master of

no fight to be won

but that of our own perception

the master is always still a student

a humble warrior

with great power

comes great humility

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source: samurai jack

many seek mastery,

whether that be in their relationships, body, mind, or profession,

mastery of their lives in general.

they seek mastery because they want control.

so many charge into the future blindly

craving control

but in doing so

they tend to hurt themselves and hurt others

and they never truly get what they desire (which is connection) through force.

because they act out of survival instincts

as our evolutionary ancestors once did - survival of the fittest.

evolution has gifted homo sapiens with something we don’t know other sentient life to have;

and that is discernment

in gaining awareness of our patterns and behaviors

we can use this discernment to choose to either act out of this heightened awareness or fear (survival)

through clarity, realizing the oneness of all things, the relative insignificance of “things”

we come into our power

and that power is the freedom to live without fear

because we know nothing can truly hurt us

in acting from power instead of force

we can achieve true control - true mastery

control through the internal is not through exerting one’s desires through manipulation of the external

but through freedom in knowing that all desires can never be promised

so we can return to love and simply enjoy life as if it were a game

we don’t know what the future is

the earth could explode tomorrow

what good is external control then?

we have no control really

we can only play with what is right here right now

and take actions with direction toward a future we’re not attached to

so we can learn deeper, experience deeper, grow deeper, love deeper

because who knows if the future we're planning will really happen

we have to be willing to readjust and be flexible if things don’t go our way

to obtain this internal power

you must gain clarity

and this clarity is gained by questioning all you think you know

because you really know nothing

all pain is self-generated and self-inflicted.

not physical pain, that you might experience in a certain moment

but pain that exists that is purely psychological

reacting to something that isn’t happening in this moment

these are cyclic thoughts… grief, guilt, shame, fear

…

once i woke up from pain

knowing permanently its illusion

once i became free from attachments

it was so blissful

the removal of something harmful

always feels so much better

than adding something pleasurable

once I became familiar with this kind of freedom

there was this kind of emptiness

it wasn’t bad

i just became aware of it

i realize now that this empty feeling came through clarity

that i was now aware of the space around me

not suffocated by my identity

but recognizing the infinite potential of it

of form in general

the future is nothing but space

because it doesn’t yet exist

the possibilities are unmanifested

and as humans, we manifest that future reality

in becoming content with and accepting of all that is and has been

and by not living in fear of the possibility of an undesirable future event

i found peace - I am healed

through healing, I am open

open to recognize and receive all the love and connection

much of humankind subliminally searches for their entire life in the external

it is the merge of the internal and external -

realizing they are the same and that one cannot exist without the other

not just knowing, logically, but knowing with your being

- that is awakening

there certainly is residual pain and attachments that am not aware of

but I won’t go searching for them

I’ll simply deal with them as they arise

And I’m not perfect by any means

i can and will continue to grow and learn and open more each moment

but I now have the clarity to catch myself quite quickly

when i begin to fall into old patterns of thinking and realign

when new challenges arise in my life

in any time i feel resistance to what is happening

it is a chance to expand even further

the only other option is to contract in fear - to resist or deny

and begin to fall back asleep

…

yeah so I’m at this point now where I’m at peace

but i want to keep growing

to get more and more clear

so my discernment can be more effective

this will take discipline

and discipline isn't a negative thing.

it doesn't have to feel forced or restrictive.

when we begin to pay attention to our bodies and minds

they will tell us what is good for us and what is harmful.

discipline is simply discernment between what feels good and what feels bad - what is pure and what is suffocating.

as i get more clear, pay more attention, I'll naturally become more disciplined.

i will master the body by completely loving it - by becoming more and more attuned to its language.

it’ll be a good time.

in the upanishads it says something to the extent of “although i am not the body i will not neglect the body”

and the body is not just your appearance and flesh - but your brain, thoughts, and emotions.

neglecting the body, is neglecting the form that our consciousness is able to express itself through.

we can never rise above the mind

we can never rise above the body

even the buddha tried this and failed

it was not until through vipassana mediation, by going deep deep into the body, into form, into energy -

that he realized enlightenment

in my journey, this just reminds me to always fully embrace what is right now.

to search within, not without

to not reach for something, even if that’s wisdom or love

because it’s not something i can “get”

it’s only something to be realized in the present.

and i suppose “the body” is not just my body

but all manifestations of form - every person, every object, every experience

and i must be fully in it; to learn about “all this” in greater depth

so i will fully commit to this form. every action out of love.

becoming increasingly sensitive to everything that is happening.

acting out of intuition

using the mind for knowledge of form and the heart for knowledge of being.

complete unshakable continuous devotion and surrender.

a humble warrior.

...

anyways. I’m sitting outside and just realized I’m getting hella bug bites so I’m gonna end here.

peace out my dudes.

...

tuesday july 9 7:48pm

...

i write all this to see my own journey more objectively;

effectively, so i can learn from myself and look back on this

so pardon my rambling. and my not writing in actual sentences with little regard to any grammar rules.

but it’s so dope if someone else comes across it and resonates; and perhaps recognizes something that propels you on your own path ;)

ram ram ૐ

much love! dream extreme! ☆

- kat