with each breath, return.

my old phone wallpaper.

there is not a promised point of completeness

we cannot know if we will ever "make it" or "get there"

I can't even fathom what that would mean.

because with each step

we awaken to the possibility of yet another step.

an endless journey.

the beauty of being in being itself.

it is not a place

or a state

or a position

it is not an acquirement

is it absolute embrace

whenever I feel disconnected or low in any way,

i always tell myself:

disassociate from form.

return to source.

all is love.

love is all.

and so i return

by releasing all that is temporary

all that is not pure

surrendering into trust and love

and i return not necessarily knowing more

but always knowing some truth more deeply

moving forward out of space into potential

with refined sight, intention, and efficiency.

...

my prayer over your next year:

the lord bless you and keep you

- may you stay ever in the presence of god, in truth, in love, in light

- may your life be filled with beauty, love, light, truth, and growth, abundance

the lord make his face shine on you

- may you be a vessel of light

- may others see you and know god, know love, know truth

- so they can become this as well

and be gracious to you

- may the journey be lovely

- may the light in you nourish you and protect you

the lord turn his face toward you

- may you gain more and more light with each breath

- may you come to be presence, peace, love, acceptance

numbers 6:24-26

I don't subscribe to any one religion. As religion in modern times holds a connotation of an illusion of separateness; of right and wrong. Most religions, when you discover their essence not their literal accounts, all point to the same truth. we often get lost in the stories, in the language, in the labels. but it is all one. In terms of christianity, I used to reject and resist, words such as god or the bible itself, because i associated it with the layers surrounding the truth, instead of the truth itself.

My mom wrote that verse in a birthday card to me; her prayer over my next year. Previously, I'd probably cringe or roll my eyes. I now see the beauty and love in the words.

Thank you.

...

friday august 9 1:41pm

...

gratitude.

hurting.

loving.

being.

feeling.

reaching.

clinging.

seemingly i grasp at air

fingertips filtering the space

what do i give or receive

what do you give or receive

what is this apparent exchange?

present awareness and thoughtfulness

they are one and the same.

a millions reasons to fear

and ruminate in pain

a trillion more to love

and one truth to follow

the only path to acceptance

to being the pure embodiment of all qualities of love

is through surrender

all this i know deeply

but how can i always live this truth?

that is life’s greatest mystery.

continuous reminding

realigning

conscious awareness of divinity

returning to source

inhale into expansiveness

exhale into softness

into space

and intricate intimacy

polarities of beauty and pain.

that is this.

the beautiful drama.

...

saturday august 10 4:30pm

...

it wouldn’t be right

for my desires of the moment

to replace what is

i must have absolute surrendering faith

that all unfolds in complete perfection

i am shaken and left feeling hollow

because i fear i will never have total connection

that i will be forever free

forever untethered

what is there to fear in that?

is that not what we all aspire towards?

i release into acceptance of being eternally lost

this is the beauty

a bird with no cage

forever floating

with each breath deepening into

greater awareness

connection

wonder

and love

...

sunday august 11 11:48pm

...

try as we might

we find that

there is no release in trying

we strain toward what we think holds light

in the external

and in doing so push away the truth

that our very being is the vessel for all light

it is painful to let go.

but it is how we can gain the clarity

to effortlessly embrace each moment as perfection.

so that our experiences may be

the complete manifestation of love

as a ever-flowing cycle and union between

self and other

internal and external

consciousness and energy

we begin the journey

not to reach an end

because nothing is promised

but we venture to simply go forth

into self-discovery

into clarity

into truth

each moment

we see a little clearer

feel a little more

and that is the reward itself

it is all we can know

here and now

feelings arise

of loss

of insecurity

of hollowness

of doubt

we grieve over what is not meant for us

desiring what is not now

believing our existence is somehow mutilated

or incomplete

feel that pain fully

and know that the discomfort is always a cry to return to love

a gentle reminder

to embody truth

feel

and instead of becoming victim to the patterns

and addictions

use the negative feelings

to surrender deeper

use the pain as a doorway

through which

to awaken more and more

surrender surrender surrender.

creating the space for love to unfold

for your being to merge

to know thyself

to touch all of life

and illuminate the shadows

to be the flame

that extinguishes darkness

the morning sun

that awakens all from sleep

…

ram ram ૐ

much love, dream extreme.

☆

- kat